Posted by Dinah on May 14, 2003, at 10:21:47
I don't know if I'm depressed over the diabetes diagnosis. Or more likely it's the way I'm eating. I'm not eating the stuff that's bad for me, but I just can't bring myself to put in my mouth and swallow the stuff that's good for me. I'm almost halfway to the weight loss goal my doctor set for me after two weeks. Of course, I could stand to lose a lot more weight than that. But I'm probably dehydrated because I'm not drinking enough. And I know I'm not eating enough. My husband is at wits end, but I just can't do it. I just can't eat what I don't feel like eating.
I'm sleeping almost all the time, I'm not getting my work done. My head hurts constantly. And my moods are horrendously unstable. I'm just a chance remark away from crying or a temper tantrum. And I don't mean getting angry, I mean a temper tantrum. A childish, embarassing, completely ridiculous temper tantrum.
I know, I know. I should be drinking my water. I should be eating something. But some force within me that is stronger than my will is fiercely rejecting the prospect. I'm staring at a granola bar now. Granola bars are actually one of the things I don't mind eating. But I've already had a banana, and with something in my stomach, I know I'm not going to be able to eat the granola bar. Last night's dinner was two bites of a nice healthy sandwich and a couple of sips of drink. After that I found myself throwing the sandwich away and the drink down the sink. I just can't seem to override it.
poster:Dinah
thread:226550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/226550.html