Posted by jay on March 8, 2003, at 10:09:00
Misplaced aggression....Projection...whatever it is called, it is one, no THE thing I hate the most. From my teen years on, especially in the morning, I would be the most miserable, very nasty SOB. I never ever did anything physical, but I was/am snappy, spiteful, aggressive, and as I get older, I realize how HORRIBLE this action is especially to the people I love. Life is TOO damn short, yet it seems this very *physical* feeling makes me loose my cool, and it hurts OTHERS, as well as myself.I honestly think, and this is FINALLY after decades of living with this garbage, that making myself better, healing the inner-wounds, is what will be best for my loved ones. I used to think suicide was the answer to this (and no, I am not condemning folks who think it), but even though it enters my mind it is much more a distant thing now. Being here, even if I am a bit half-baked and no matter what they think, say, or call me, and showing my true eccentricities, my very strong liberal unconditional compassion for every living thing, is the absolute best thing I can do, and that is *the* RIGHT thing to do. I've lost almost everything in the past...a child and girlfriend to death...but life is a power that *remains*..You can NEVER break that chain. I have always believed this, and the spirit (not as in 'ghost', but in personality) lives on through every single person we touch in our lives. I guess I am truly getting closer to being that "complete" person I want to be, but I have still a long journey ahead. I've got beautiful parents..beautiful Niece and Nephews...and even wonderful Brother and Sister. Either through social work, or teaching, or something like that, I will do everything in my power to bring PEACE to this world. To many, many, MANY people hate each other, and hate themselves. Too many wars...too many lost generations...too much pain...we have the minds and the spirits.
Anyhow, thanx for listening to my daily rant. Comments welcome! :-) Hehehe.
Peace,
Jay
poster:jay
thread:207106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030308/msgs/207106.html