Posted by OddipusRex on February 3, 2003, at 10:42:51
In reply to Re: Being sensitive, posted by coral on February 3, 2003, at 10:31:25
Yes it is sad. I was referring my "I feel" statements in this thread to this thread particularly. But I think in general people who would defend ethnic slurs probably don't care much about other people's feelings. So I was thinking it would be better to try to reason with people than ask them to care about my feelings.
And more effective.But it doesn't carry over into ALL my real life so it's not totally sad. I was mostly talking about dealing with the board where I really don't know who's out there. I'm glad you learned to trust. I know it's really hard for some people including me. Thanks for the sympathy.
> You said, "The problem with all those "I feel" statements is that if I say "I feel hurt when you say...." the person who was saying that may just know they've hit the target and come back with more!" What a very sad statement. I have one person in my world who would "come back with more" and I only have contact with this person due to family entanglements. Obviously, I never expose myself or admit feelings of hurt for exactly the reasons you gave. The other people in my world hear my statements and know that it's a sensitive area and proceed with gentle caution if something further needs to be said. (It took a lot of time for me to learn how to express myself so intimately, though... and trust of others.)
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poster:OddipusRex
thread:35991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030201/msgs/36253.html