Posted by wendy b. on January 12, 2003, at 21:47:28
In reply to Why have kids and pass on a genetic prob? « McPac, posted by Dr. Bob on January 12, 2003, at 20:40:06
McPac,
If your aim is to someday have children (or it was, and now you're not sure), take heart! However your children turn out -- depressed, congenital heart disease, juvenile diabetes -- they're yours, and you love them and you care for them. You do your best. End of story.
Wanting and having children isn't a "lifestyle choice," it's a matter of heart more than head (feeling vs. rationality). Do you want to have them - at a gut level? Do you love children? Did you always think you would be a parent, ever since childhood? Are you relatively financially able to manage raising a child? (Whoever said three can't eat as cheaply as two was a liar!)
You cannot prevent them from developing an illness they're genetically predisposed to getting, you can't eliminate pain or suffering, although you spend your life trying to... But broken bones, scraped knees, pain of first love lost, panic, anxiety, depression, are all -- somehow -- worth the ride.
My daughter's father has obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, and I have bipolar illness. So my girl has a pretty good chance of at least becoming depressed or OCD... But there will be better medicines, and I can try to keep the environment she lives in less of a breeding-ground for mental illness than my own childhood home's or my husband's.
Fear of "what-ifs" is no way to live.
Hope some of this makes sense...
best wishes,Wendy
> [Posted by McPac on January 12, 2003, at 1:59:30]
>
> > Knowing how terrible these problems are, why have kids and risk passing these terrible genetic disorders onto them?
>
>
poster:wendy b.
thread:35147
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35151.html