Posted by Alii on January 11, 2003, at 12:09:59
In reply to Can you please consider stopping with the pics? » kid a, posted by bluedog on January 10, 2003, at 23:29:20
kid_A---> whoopdee f'n doo!
> >
~~~~~~~~~~~
bluedog---> I know I will probably be PBC'd for saying this but I couldn't agree more!!!
> I once commended you and others for having the courage to post pictures of themselves on PSB and it is obvious that you received a whole lot of admirers for doing so.
> However I don't think it is a good thing that you keep posting pictures of yourself on the public forum.
> I am all for someone posting one or two of pictures of themselves BUT I still have some reservations about the whole exercise.
> Look at it from another perspective. If for instance I was female and I looked like the following very lovely lass and I posted one pic of myself on PSB as follows
> [alii removed link]
> I am certain that I would gain a whole set of male admirers, but the thing is the people on this board would probably see me in a completeley different light than if people didn't know what I looked like and likewise MAY (not necessarily will) interpret my future posts in a completeley different light. If I was insecure about my looks I would probably feel relieved and gratified if I got some positive comments about how I looked and some encouragement and that would be a good thing.
> Being encouraged I could then start posting whole galleries of pics of myself on this board as like the following: [alii removed link]
> and this is where I think a line should possibly be drawn. What would be my motivation for continuing to post pictures of myself. Would I be fishing for more positive comments? Would I be simply be feeding my ego? I don't know!!> But I am certain that there would be females on PSB who have issues and insecurities about their own looks and perhaps have issues with poor body image or weight/diet problems that might start feeling pretty insecure about themselves and perhaps even start feeling unsafe on this board!!
Alii here-----as a female with poor body image and previous eating disorder issues I am quite capable of watching out for myself on this board, and if not then there are deputies and admin to glean through the posts to 'keep things safe'.
> OK, in summary if someone wants to post a picture of themselves I have no objections and applaud that person for doing so. BUT I think that to continue posting picture after picture could become rather gratuitous.
> The above thoughts are my personal opinion only and I'm sure that others will disagree with me.
> I know I am only speaking from the viewpoint of my own insecurities because I suffer from social anxiety, do not consider myself at all attractive and have all my life had to deal with the fact that I have a brother who happens to be rather attractive and was always the centre of attention with the females while I was ignored.
> I hope you don't take offence at my post but perhaps it is something you can think about.
> You always have the choice to completely ignore what I have said but please think about it!
> warm regards
> bluedog
~~~~~~~~~~~bluedog,
I am shocked and confused by the support you gave to kid_A above in another thread and then to bash him so in this one is mind boggling.
As a new member to this community I'm glad you are trying to foster togetherness however there are archives here that give quite a bit of history about how things have gone down here in the past and about the personal histories of the posters.
If you had read any of kid_A's posts from the past two years that he has been around you might notice that he has never written about his condition or personal appearance in any posts over that period of time. Only in the past week has he had the courage and strength to talk/post about this in such a public (which can be scary as hell!) forum.
I posted a congrats to him telling him how proud I was that he had been able to take that step and what personal progress it was for him.
Without having read the archives you could have never known that so I can see how you could post what you did above.
I found your post deeply insulting to kid_A given the difficulties he has faced due to his medical condition over his lifetime---and still to this day.
If you are writing about your own insecurities and your own situation that is one thing. But to project your own insecurities ( bluedog---> I know I am only speaking from the viewpoint of my own insecurities because I suffer from social anxiety, do not consider myself at all attractive and have all my life had to deal with the fact that I have a brother who happens to be rather attractive and was always the centre of attention with the females while I was ignored.) is another entirely.
I encourage seeking support here for your social anxiety. This board has many supportive people who understand or empathize about anxiety disorders. But you could have just written about your own life instead of what could be perceived as jumping down kid's throat with 'stop the posting of pics'.
The very fact that you start your thread with I know I will probably be PBC'd for saying this is an indication that perhaps you could have phrased what you said differently or perhaps not even posted it at all.
Perhaps give a bit more consideration to the impact of your words on someone who has been beaten down their entire life and just in the past week been strong enough to reach out in a new way only to have you shut him down.
I'm saddened by his block and by your words at him.
Welcome to PSB but please try to learn a bit more about the people you say so much about before you say so much.
This is a learning space for all of us. I don’t speak from any high horse and have been PBC’d and blocked before for my posts so I’m not coming from any holier than thou place. I’m only trying to put out there that if you’re writing about you then write about you---not about someone else.
Thanks.
~Alii
poster:Alii
thread:35018
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35050.html