Posted by Miller on December 27, 2002, at 9:24:59
In reply to Re: The saga continues...Chapter 2 » Miller, posted by Dinah on December 27, 2002, at 9:13:26
Wow. That is very similar to how I feel a lot of the times. My husband constantly says I am a worrier or a planner to the extreme and how I can't let ANYTHING go.
I obsess over my next shrink appointments as I am walking out the door. Or I obsess about what I did say in the session or what I should have said, etc.
There have been times when I can't sleep or "lose" hours of a day just thinking constantly or worrying about something.
That is how I feel about killing myself. I literally can't stop thinking about it. I actually visualize it. Sometimes I actually can see myself shooting myself, wrecking my car, asphixiating myself, etc. I can't stop thinking about it.
I read somewhere that suicide is either to escape pain or to cause pain to others. I can admit that I would not kill myself to make others feel bad. (Such as "I'll show them!!" attitude.) But I continually think about how I will feel to be taking the final step into finding piece. I have been thinking about this so much, my work is MONTHS behind. I will probably be fired very soon.
Anyway, if you could tell me more about it, I would appreciate it. How do you cope? How do you lessen the anxiety?
Thank you for the information.
-Miller
poster:Miller
thread:33940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021226/msgs/34074.html