Posted by Ted on October 11, 2002, at 11:28:00
In reply to Lover cheating online? Catch them in the act., posted by Gracie2 on October 11, 2002, at 1:51:04
Hi Gracie,
A secretary at a former job used to say, "I don't care where my husband gets his appetite as long as he eats at home." I hope you see the analogy in the statement (please reply if you need help). I, personally, see online relationships in two forms:
1. The LJBF category, where they just talk like any friends would. They will talk about what bothers them, what excites them, about their family and their vacations. Yes, it may have some lurid talk of sex, but it isn't the discussion topic very often, and when it is, it has some meaning, as answers to questions about something related to a spouse/SO/relationship in person. Yeah, they might even flirt a little, but not seriously.
2. Cyber (phone) sex. This is just porn talk for it's own sake. Sex is always the topic in one form or another.
In my opinion, category 1 is just a cyber penpal and harmless. INSIST that if he should EVER meet his penpal in person, that you are invited or your relationship is at that time terminated, PERIOD. Category 2 is where you have to pay attention. Insist that it end if you are uncomfortable. This is much more difficult to control. BTW: your husband's partner if probably another man if this is the case.Gracie, look back on the PSB archives for a few months ago. Dinah and I flirted a bit, in public no less. We are both married (but not to each other!). Does that make us terrible cheats? No, it was just playful fun; it ended on its own.
Ted
(oh, and btw, if you are clever, you can find the contents of his emails without knowing his password. You can snoop stealthily to your heart's content.)
poster:Ted
thread:31024
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021010/msgs/31036.html