Posted by Medusa on September 11, 2002, at 0:05:59
In reply to Hi Medusa, posted by Gabbix2 on September 9, 2002, at 11:59:09
> I don't know whether I feel my humor has dulled, or whether I'm just seeing things realistically. Really.
>Ach, that's such an either-or. Maybe it's somewhere between, maybe a bit of both, maybe something in addition, all a mix ... a changing mix.
> Words didn't used to be such an effort.
ah, do you notice this correlating with depression as well, sometimes? I've always had trouble with this, and it's humiliating when I'm in that state and have to speak German or French - people think I'm an idiot because I'm a foreigner and struggle so much with their language. Dammit people, I'm struggling with language PERIOD. Not just yours!
>Don't you just get so tired of hearing yourself talk about medication sometimes???
>I get tired of it being an issue. I tried to go back on meds, screwed up logistics, decided to try exercise, relaxation stuff, build as much of a foundation as possible before adding the meds again. I'm a mess. I don't know how I'm even doing what I'm doing for myself - but the exercise is taking the place of depression-sleep right now, so ...
okay damn, DH came up and was reading over my shoulder as I typed. he's worried about me, which he shows by doing way more than his share of housework. what was I saying?
that I'm only getting exercise because I go to the gym when court shows are on, and I stay on the machine for the length of the program. I used to sleep all the time if I didn't know what to do, or drink and then sleep, and now exercise - well a combination of brain-dulling too-long aerobic exercise and brain-dulling repetitive TV - is filling that role.
> I haven't been on chat yet either, maybe we can hook up there sometime.
>Later this week I should be back on a computer with Java Virtual Machine, which is missing from this one, and no way am I paying ten bucks plus intl postage for the CD.
with aching head and anxiety,
M
poster:Medusa
thread:30048
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020908/msgs/30109.html