Posted by _Alii_ on August 15, 2002, at 18:33:23
In reply to the pros and cons of public execution., posted by kid_A on August 15, 2002, at 12:41:43
> we left the castle just as we had found it: in a state of disarray, crumbling really, as our friendship had done so in so many words. it wasn't far to the ocean and i thought i would drive out there, near the beach head, near the cliffs where the parallel stripes of road encroach upon the girth of the sea. how far. how far could i swim before my legs grew tired, gave out. would i struggle when i went down. what would i think of. would i think of you, more beautiful than i had ever seen you and we had long been separated. i was further away from you than i ever was then, but still, despite everything, ignoring my ignorance and immaturity, you seemed radiant to me--- like a flower bursting into flame, something impermanent yet utterly wonderful, something cruel yet achingly needful.
>
> i do wonder where you've gone. i do wonder if you are living the life that you want. i don't think i ever saw you live one that pleased you. when you were destroying yourself with alcohol and glass, when you made a cuckold of me time and time again. foolish me, i always wanted you back. i'm not quite sure i ever knew what love was. i think i loved you because you made me feel human. i certainly miss that.
>
> the sun is setting mother and it goes down easy, just like it was meant to, every day. and every day they are gone and for a long time after, it will rise and set, it's so ignorant of death, how little it cares, maui's lasso around it, trying to slow the day... but i can see you there, all of you, longing for that sunset, from Nauset to the beaches of Sanibel, where my estranged relatives summer... how many years before it has all been washed away by the sea? so perhaps it is better to jump in the ocean now and save all the heartache, but the clockmakers never sleep, their eyes never close, and the heart keeps ticking, that hammered dulcimer in one note, that dulcimer gray.
>
> i can hardly keep walking these days, and the sound of your voice is like an echo, deep and resonant inside somewhere, further back, further down and darker, in the thickets of the bushes and trees, whipped for the sake of a Christ that couldn't save you. i wish i was with you, wherever you are.
>
> wherever. you, are.
k_A,May I inquire about whether or not each paragraph is a season/woman/direction?
--A.
poster:_Alii_
thread:28665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020813/msgs/28700.html