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Re: does this ever end--Tabitha and Rust

Posted by Roo on July 18, 2002, at 15:36:10

In reply to Re: does this ever end » rust, posted by tabitha on July 18, 2002, at 2:46:23

Tabitha--I can't remember if I've already asked you this or
not--what meds do you take? Tell me a little more about your
med journey if you don't mind....

I am feeling pretty damn miserable again. I am so sick of
this illness. And I think everybody else is sick of me too,
and who could blame them--I am an absolute downer. And it's
so hard for anyone to understand if they haven't been through it
themselves. That's why sometimes I wish it was a physical illness
I had rather than a mental illness--then maybe people wouldn't expect
me to be able to think myself out of it. Actually it's probably ME that
puts that pressure on myself. I have such a hard time accepting that
this is a biological illness and that I have to take medication for it.
I should probably increase the effexor I just started, but I just can't
make myself do it yet. I've worked hard to lose 10 pounds and I've already
gained 2 pounds just being on this stuff for a week. So frustrating. And
of course forget about sex. I wouldn't have such a hard time with the idea
of taking meds if they didn't make me fat and asexual. I am trying acupuncture
in a couple of weeks...but I have to say, I don't feel all that hopeful.

I hate feeling like this. I've been in a funk now for 3 years and it's wearing
me out. I'm starting to lose hope. Life seems empty, painful and
meaningless and yet the frustrating thing is I KNOW I would never kill myself.


Rust...I am feeling very similarly to you right now...
I don't have any uplifting words though, unfortunately...just
that I know how you feel and I sympathize. I'm sorry if I took over
your post by getting all focused on me, me, me...


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