Posted by shar on July 13, 2002, at 12:10:35
In reply to Re: This was my attempt at a redirect , posted by Dinah on July 13, 2002, at 8:05:52
You are not alone in your suicidal ideation, you have come to the right place because people here understand. I struggle with it too, and for right now have decided to continue living.
It does sound like you are working very hard to get to feeling better, doing all the right things, but nothing good is happening. Well, that sucks, and it makes it so hard to keep trying.
About AA and what your sponsor said. Everyone works their program in their own way. There are guidelines that can be helpful (like 90 meetings in 90 days for newbies is a good idea IMHO), but as you get more into it, everyone's doing something different. I think it is to do what keeps you sober and, if possible, feeling better. I feel better now than I did when I was drinking, but I've never experienced the joy that some AA folks talk about.
It's how our own nature combines with the steps that makes it work. I do think "keep coming back" sounds like a good idea for you right now, and that having a priority of sobriety would help. Especially with suicidal thoughts, anything that lowers inhibitions or might increase impulsiveness is not a good idea.
If you have a good meeting to go to (AA) keep it up. Go even if you slip, it's ok and if anyone gives you shit then they are waaaay far away from the ideals of the program. Meetings are not set up so that others can judge people, tho it has happened. You don't even have to say you've slipped if you have; the only requirement for Club AA is a desire to quit drinking.
Keep posting and good luck.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:26327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020629/msgs/26334.html