Posted by beardedlady on June 30, 2002, at 6:06:32
In reply to Re: Lou, did you notice I was robbed at gunpoint? » Lou Pilder » beardedlady, posted by Lou Pilder on June 29, 2002, at 19:24:48
Lou is right. I am unharmed--physically. Though I think I have some emotions to deal with now.
He may also be right in a bigger way--and Judy, too. I have slept soundly and peacefully since this happened. I have not had bad nightmares. And when I have awakened at my usual 2:00 a.m. "bad time to wake up," I have fallen right back to sleep. When there is a real problem, I seem to pull through more than when I am worried about worry.
And a final thing. I am afraid I am not responding to this properly. I am not terrified. I am trying to find this terror, trying to be frightened by the recurring vision of these two scary things, but I am not able to feel it. This is why I have said I'm numb. There's no panic or horror. And that's what I don't get. I am a panic and horror person.
Oh, boy. Most people would be thrilled to have emerged this way. And I suppose I am glad not to be haunted or terrorized or panic stricken. I guess I'm just confused as to why I'm not.
I spent last week in a hot tent with my husband and daughter. I fell asleep immediately and took a sleeping pill every day at 2:00 a.m., when I woke up. I just took it to keep myself unstressed. I didn't want to lie there from 2:00 on and be tired the next day, so I didn't even wait to see if I'd fall asleep.
I got home and haven't needed a pill, even after this. Don't you think it's strange? Any explanations?
beardy
P.S. Lou, I'm going to a place we call Ocean Sh*tty. It's a crappy little beach resort for mostly obnoxious Marylanders where I go with my parents to be treated like a child for a week: watch fireworks from the 15th floor of their nice condo; play scrabble with my mom; lie on the beach, read, and people watch; get a massage and pedicure; exercise in beach air; and be treated by my Dad to nice dinners, frozen mudslides, and a new wardrobe! It is truly a relaxing vacation, which I now need. Last time I was driving through it in 1985. Before that, it was 1971, when my family moved from Indianapolis back to Baltimore. But I will surely look you up if I get there.
poster:beardedlady
thread:25851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020629/msgs/25902.html