Posted by fiona on May 30, 2002, at 21:01:32
I don't know what's happened to me this week. I have had 2 whole weeks of being stable and all of a sudden I am back in the depths of despair. I was really pleased with myself and thought that I had found my perfect combination of meds. Not so. Do you ever feel like somebody up there is taking the piss? Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water...
I feel so bereft, it's awful. Sometimes I think I'm gonna die from the pain. It feels like loss of a loved one and I can't cope with it.
My sister is very ill right now and I can't cope with it. She has bipolar disorder and has fallen apart this week. My mum can't cope with her and my dad pretends like theres nothing wrong, so it falls upon me to pick up the pieces. The problem is that I have cyclothymia and am in a very bad low period at the moment, so I am finding it very difficult to deal with my own head, never mind trying to look after my sister. I just feel so swamped. I can't drag myself out of bed in the mornings, but still my family expect me to look after my sister and her kids. I have been off work for the past 6 months with this depression because I can't cope with my life. Am I being selfish or petty if I say that I can't help her?
poster:fiona
thread:24897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24897.html