Posted by Kar on May 29, 2002, at 18:33:47
In reply to Re: Dumped and Depressed, posted by KB on May 29, 2002, at 8:34:44
KB- so sorry you're having such a crappy time of it. I'm trying to remember the things that people told me when it happened to me- what helped me...
>he insisted he wasn't lying about it because he would have told me if I'd asked!!!
Oh...my ...God...!!!! Who would say that kind of thing?!!? And blaming you?!? Argh. It's hard to tell from your posts whether you discussed this with him, whether he shrugged it off/said he'd stop, whatever. I guess it doesn't matter. Just know that there are many out here who've been through it. I couldn't even get to work after I found out!
It will get easier and you will feel better and you will be happier when you find out what it SHOULD have been like with him. That's how it worked with me. I realized that I was always working really hard at the relationship and he didn't. I found out that I was very (oh I hate this word but it fit at the time-) codependent.
Someday, I promise...you will want to thank him because what he did will have led you to a much better life!
You might want to consider too, exactly why you're upset. I know this sounds dumb. But it doesn't sound as if you are outraged by what he has done to you...you are upset that you lost what you had (or thought you had)? If you don't realize that you are much more valuable than he has treated you, listen to us when we tell you that you are. And it's ok to feel hurt and to miss him even despite what he's done. It may not register until later.
Stay in touch. It'll take a while but you'll feel better and stronger soon...
Kar
poster:Kar
thread:24756
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24854.html