Posted by Katt on May 23, 2002, at 16:27:38
In reply to Re: mental illness and work, posted by mair on May 23, 2002, at 15:00:56
> Katt
>
> I've never faced precisely the same decision but there have certainly been many instances where it was pretty clear that work was putting too much stress on me and interfering with my ability to get better or sustain any kind of remission. (still probably true) I've had a couple of different therapists push me to change jobs or to take a leave or even quit. Work has always won out because I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't work, or I thought I needed the money too much, or I didn't want to disconnect myself from my professional identity, or I didn't feel that I could leave without getting caught up first (what a trap that is!) or in whatever my state was at the time, it seemed to take more energy to proactively leave rather than to just passively stay. I think the underpinning of all of my conflicts on this issue has been my reluctance to accept that my illness does limit me.And that bothers me so much!!! i know that when i am at my worst, i can't work..in fact, i get nothing done. i am even known to sit at my desk and cry.
> However, depression has become a very chronic problem for me and I've been living in a world of pdocs, therapists and meds and insurance claims for too many years now. I feel more than a little resentful every time I read about how treatable depression is and how someone "licked" depression after a few months of meds and 6 months of therapy. I have certainly wondered whether things might have been different if I had just quit my job when i first got depressed, and spent some time doing nothing other than trying to take care of myself and getting better.
>
those reports make me sick. as for staying home to take care of myself...how would i do that without income? my dilemma is a little different in that i just received a graduate degree six months ago and still have not found a job. i'm not eligible for unemployment because i have been living off a part-time shoe-string. i need experience in my field and while there are no jobs, this contracted position has come up.> Your post seemed to suggest that by working, you wouldn't be making yourself worse, you'd just maybe give up an opportunity to get better more quickly.
are you saying that by working, i am just going to keep getting worse?
>Any similar decision for me would have to include an analysis of whether the job would impose additional pressures that might make things worse. My work place is filled with depression triggers. Maybe yours is not, but I think you should at least give that some consideration.
>
workplaces -- regardless of the workplace, it has triggers in it for me all over the place. but the big question remains - if i were to decide to choose treatment (and at this point it is very intensive in terms of amount) how would i work? and if i am not working, how do i pay my bills?
poster:Katt
thread:24303
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24466.html