Posted by Mair on May 17, 2002, at 22:11:54
In reply to Re: Mistakes we make (rambling) » mair, posted by Phil on May 17, 2002, at 19:57:37
Thanks guys. I go through periods when I am in sort of a panic about the possibility of making mistakes. Breathing and xanax can help as can just systematically dealing with one item at a time. (Sometimes I feel that I have so much to do that I can't even start) This mistake hurts because I don't consider myself to be particularly good at what I do, and years of depression have stripped away any measure of self-esteem, BUT I do consider myself to be meticulous and careful and the mistake I made was one of commission, not omission. Plus i had umpteen opportunities to pick the error up myself and didn't see it.
I've been trying to get organized for a couple of years now - I've been trying for what seems like forever to find ways to better control my workload so I don't get to the point of being overloaded and overwelmed. My therapist continually returns to the theme of "cutting back" and we make all sorts of plans that never get implemented. I work at a job where it's very difficult to regulate workloads and to maintain a consistent schedule and at a job where you're valued more if you're overly busy and workaholic-like. As a working mother, I've never been able to keep up that kind of pace, and periodic episodes of depression render me so ineffective. But at least (up til now) I've been able to tell myself that maybe I couldn't do as much or do things as quickly, but at least I could do things carefully. So much for that.
Mair
PS: Phil- on days like this I really wish i hadn't given up smoking. I consider smoking cessation (twice) to be like my greatest lifetime achievement. Also I think you're much too deep to have shallow relationships.
PPS: Dinah - You're right - it could have been worse. It can be fixed. My husband has been telling me this all night and trying to turn it into a big joke. That's all well and good except I know he'd be flipping out if it was his mistake.
poster:Mair
thread:23983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020517/msgs/24002.html