Posted by Zo on May 11, 2002, at 3:30:43
In reply to Part Two, posted by paxvox2000 on May 10, 2002, at 9:47:37
*Everybody* who was abused as a child--or an adult, tho it helps to have been pre-abused, in childhood--thinks it's Them. That's the whole point, boundaries are broken and so is one's sense of self, so that the whole question of who's who gets terribly blurred. Most abusive people are attacking the Self-ness of the other--and so it is oneself that feels like the flaw.It's the wicked, desperately terrible way in which the mind adapts to traumatic circumstance--how else to survive when one is relatively powerless? There is no question of finding fault with one's abuser--that way lies even more stress and danger. So the child self internalizes the abuser, whole--and perhaps even thinks that's love. And then childhood is gone, but without serious chemical intervention, the brain just keeps to those same old grooves in the neocortex. This is just the way of humans--of course, without intervention, it lasts for life.
I'm so glad your wife has you.
Zo
poster:Zo
thread:23499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020509/msgs/23541.html