Posted by Manda on April 30, 2002, at 21:22:53
In reply to After this past weekend...., posted by Katt on April 29, 2002, at 14:07:34
Although I agree completely that many other people in the world have much harder lives (external lives, maybe, is what I'm trying to say?), I also think that we have to be careful to not go too far and trivialize our own problems. It helps me a lot to get some perspective by considering how many things I have that I take for granted. However, if I dwell on how lucky I am and start to think that my suffering has no validity, it makes me more depressed. I have come to see that happiness does not come with circumstances. If that were true, then I would be one of the happiest people alive b/c I appear to have everything going for me. I'm 21, in college, have a great GPA, good friends, ok family, completely in love with my boyfriend (who is completely supportive of me), etc. Yet I'm almost always depressed and suicidal on an all-too-frequent basis. So, what's the deal? Why am I so down if my circumstances are so good? Well, I don't think I really have a complete answer to that question- it's got to be partly due to the chemicals in my brain, that's for sure. :) Anyway, I know I'm rambling, but your post really hit home. I was so very, very close to killing myself on Friday (the closest I've ever been- partly b/c I was completely out of touch with reality), and on Saturday night, a friend of mine (who knew the whole situation) made some comments that I think were meant to help, but ended up just sounding like he thought I was a spoiled, whiney brat who didn't have a clue and needed to get off of her a** and do something for herself. (Ok, wow. That was the biggest run-on sentence EVER. :) ) So... my point, I guess, is that we need some balance, and, especially when we are very vulnerable, we need to cut ourselves some slack. Mental illness is an illness, first and foremost. We can't just "snap out of it," "get some persective," or "stop taking things for granted." It doesn't work that way.
> I realized that I had no problems. Seeing what the Palestinians are going through makes me realize I am being silly, not mentally ill! I have food, water, and shelter that I know won't be taken down by American tanks. I am also not mourning the murders of several family members, I am not homeless, and I have a place I can call my own. I can go to school if I want, get a job someday, even cross the street without getting shot at or run over by a tank. Maybe it's time I get off the meds...how silly of me.
poster:Manda
thread:22835
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020430/msgs/22935.html