Posted by amber_spirit on April 30, 2002, at 16:57:01
I don't know what to do. I don't know whether the
way I'm feeling is the depression and suicidal
thoughts or if I need to find a new pdoc and therapist.
I'm really at the end of my rope (sorry, bad analogy)Background - I'll try to be brief... Episodes of
depression since jr. high. Never got help till
college. Very hard for me to trust, grew up with a
bias again medication of ANY KIND. Finally in college
decided maybe there was some chemical part (duh)
and decided to try medication. Went through about 5
medications and a year and ended up on effexor and
klonopin. Often gave my pdoc a hard time because
whenever something didn't work I felt like nothing
would work and it was a waste of my time. After a
couple of years finally trusted the man.Had to move about 9 months ago. Had done alot in
therapy, feeling good, handling things. Found new
therapist and pdoc here. Different approaches than
what I was used to but seemed ok. About february I
crashed. Major depression and, for the last few(?)
weeks very suicidal. I've really had a hard time
trusting this new pdoc and feel like medication let
me down - I've been doing the work in therapy and
taking my meds and everything just crashed.So, lately I'm very belligerant. Just feel like its
all a waste of time, none of the medications will
help, and pdocs have no logic to their prescribing.
Lately therapist has been making me promise to be
back for the next session and it just makes me so
mad. I feel like the therapy doesn't do anything
right now because I'm so depressed - I just sit
there and cry or explain why I don't want to go on.
I don't know if all of this is because I need
to find a different pdoc and therapist or is just
the fact that I've given up and decided nothing is
going to help. I'm so mad at them for not
understanding that!I don't know what to do. I feel like they just
don't understand.I hope I don't sound too crazy but I don't know
what to do.AS
poster:amber_spirit
thread:22925
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020430/msgs/22925.html