Posted by paxvox2000 on April 27, 2002, at 19:59:58
In reply to Re: what IS wrong with me... » paxvox2000, posted by Penny on April 27, 2002, at 0:24:49
OK, I think, perhaps, you mentioned something that might be the key to getting yourself on the right track. You said you are a part time nanny, and a natural nurturer. Perhaps that is, as you say, a way of finding a way to get others to accept you. However, I think there's more to it. When I was feeling lowest in my life, I started to become involved in world missions through my church. (I am not going to proseltytize here, just make an example). The short version of a long story (I could tell you too much about the depravation in this world) is that when I started to HELP OTHERS, I not only found some sense of reward (not because I felt I was doing anything "noble") in what I was doing, but I began to feel better about myself. I found a purpose for me to NEED to be in control of myself, to WANT to be the type of person I really knew I COULD be. I have gotten so much out of helping other people over the past 5 years now, that I wish I could do it full time. Of course there are ways to help others in our own little cities and towns. Go to a soup kitchen or rescue center and volunteer a day. I guess it may well boil down to seeing the greater needs of others makes me realize how well I really have it, and that I want to be right in that world. Sense of purpose I guess you can call it. Some people live for no other reason than to take care of their kids. For others, it's their job. You need to find something that provides you with this sense of purpose, and, then hopefully you will begin to see that you are not the worthless unloveable person you think you are now. Maybe you think this is all fluff and sugar, maybe it's not the right thing for you. But how long do you want to stay as you are? Is it not, perhaps, time to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself? I feel that there are very few people who have no value in this world, or who cannot be turned into valuable people. Maybe you are just a gem that has yet to be cleaned and polished. Maybe then, not only you but the world will see the precious jewel that you are.
PAX
poster:paxvox2000
thread:22547
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020422/msgs/22720.html