Posted by Manda on April 19, 2002, at 8:11:10
In reply to life and its opposite, posted by Lini on April 18, 2002, at 21:04:36
I'm right there with you, Lini. I can't tell you how many times I have wished that I could just not wake up the next morning. I don't know about you, but nothing really interests me anymore, and sometimes it feels as if life is not worth living if I'm so apathetic.
On the other hand, we have to keep reminding ourselves that this is the disease talking, and not our true selves. There really are beautiful, wonderful things to experience in the world- things that we would miss if we were no longer alive. Of course, I can say this right now, but if you had asked me last night, I probably would not be able to think of a single person or thing worth living for. The really sad thing to me is that when I'm really down, sometimes I'm even apathetic about my boyfriend, with whom I'm completely in love.
Anyway, that was sort of a random tangent... ;) What I'm trying to say is that I completely understand what you mean, and that I can't even count how many times I have felt the same way in the last few months. Try to think of all the things you would miss. Try to think of all the people who would be devastated. I know that you think that you are such a burden on everyone- I think that too!- but you're really not.
Sometimes people may get frustrated when you don't seem to get any better, even though they've tried so hard. BUT that does not mean that they would want to stop helping you or just being there for you. I think that it must be so hard on our loved ones to know that, so often, we don't want to live. You know? However, I think that they (for the most part) will do anything they can to make sure that we will live, whether or not we want to when we are so down. I think (hope?) that they really do have our best interests at heart, most of the time.So, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't give up. There are so many people and things to live for, even though you may not remember them right now. Let your friends and family help you, if they can. If they are worth keeping around, they think that you are worth keeping around, regardless of what they have to do to make that happen. Take care. Don't forget those of us here- we want to help too.
-Manda
poster:Manda
thread:22256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020411/msgs/22266.html