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Re: grieving

Posted by wendy b. on April 9, 2002, at 18:11:08

In reply to Re: thank you » friend, posted by Fi on April 9, 2002, at 5:18:41

I am just coming to PSB today after a few days off...

Reading through this thread as quickly as I can to find out if Friend was friend or foe... A prankster or a teller of truth. I knew Stacey via e-mail and wrote to her so many times in the last year, trying to get her to see that she was hell bent on self-destruction... frustrated by her forever drinking, and now feeling so petty and stupid about it all...

Really feeling like I'm going to throw up. I never "knew" (if writing to someone you've never seen is knowing) anyone who killed themselves. But I felt strongly, and I'm not just saying it after the fact cuz it's easy now, that she was not for this world. Such an amazing creature, so positive for a depressed person! And so strong in her beliefs. A true rebel. And so incredibly vulnerable. All of these all at once. I pictured her in my mind's eye so many times, and I'll never get the chance to know her in person. I feel robbed and horrible and angry at her for doing this. Even though I knew she would, in some way, bring about her own demise... A drink, a gun, some pills, kill herself or be killed by one of the many violent people she was drawn to. Preceded by the violence visited upon her by her parents and brother. I will never forgive them for hurting her soul so completely...

Please add me to your list of people to tell about funeral events, Kid_A, if you find any. I would like to attend, if I can swing it. E-mail at:

kolepp at ivillage dot com


I don't know if Friend wants to participate any further, though, so we shouldn't pressure her/him. They are probably going through a hard time, too.

Let's find out if we could participate in some way toward a memorial to her, or offer something in writing to be read at the funeral, that would be nice, we would feel somewhat better if we could actually DO something. I understand, Kelly, what you mean about wanting to be put to use at a time like this. We could ask Dr. Bob if we could start another page, like we did for the Book Club, this would have such significance - a memorial board for those we've lost, just a name and their dates, perhaps, and thoughts we'd like to post... I don't know. But I think something along these lines would be do-able. I wonder if others have suggestions...

My heart goes out to everyone who knew Stacey. I am feeling lost and confused and alone...

Wendy


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poster:wendy b. thread:21572
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020403/msgs/21794.html