Posted by IsoM on March 21, 2002, at 1:30:12
In reply to Now just a dadgum minute here, posted by trouble on March 21, 2002, at 0:59:59
When I say I need to make eye contact while talking with someone, I meant that. BUT I never *force* eye contact. Like I said, I have a grown son who has great difficulty with it. Most times, he no longer has problems with eye contact with me. But there's times he's feeling too stressed or vulnerable for some reason that he doesn't say. And that's fine with me. I vary in my moods - I'm not always perky & talkative. Some days the whole world seems even more incredibly stupid & cruel than normal & I withdraw.
So, I like to think I'm fairly attuned to people's needs, moods, & body language. If I'm talking to someone who's uncomfortable with eye contact & is shy or whatever, I'll feel it. The discomfort from that person I feel too. I find it easier to look away then, glancing back some to judge whether they are feeling even more discomfort. When someone has trouble making eye contact with me, I respect it.
The only avoidance of eye contact that I don't like is the shifty person hiding something. No, trouble, don't say how do you know that person isn't shy & uncomfotable - I've never been wrong with those - they might as well be wearing a big sign say "Shifty & Untrustworthy".
Judy, glancing sideways at her monitor to see if Robin answers back... :-)
poster:IsoM
thread:20420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020320/msgs/20491.html