Posted by sid on December 29, 2001, at 12:25:35
In reply to Re: alone and scared :** » sid, posted by adamie on December 28, 2001, at 21:55:36
You're right, you don't have to be alone because you have a mental illness. However you seem to do a good job at hurting yourself for now, so perhaps you need time to put some order in your life: what do you want in a relationship? What can you offer? And then look for that.
I am not saying you should be alone all your life, but take your time, why the rush? You clearly don't love this woman who's willing to give you a child, I don't understand why you'd want to be with her. You're worth more than second best too.
> just because i have mental illness doesn't mean i shouldn't want to be with someone. the other girl knows my condition and she is okay with everything.
>
> my depression i have tried to treat but nothing offers much hope. i am on my 7th med or so. i dont know if i will ever be trully better.
>
> and being alone being a positive depends on you. some people hate to be alone. i am one of those people. i need someone. i dont want to be alone the rest of my life just because i have an illness. i deserve much more than that.
>
> > Being alone is much better than being with someone who's not a good match for you.
> >
> > Treat your depression while putting some order in your life. This perfect woman is FAR FROM perfect: she cheated on her husband AND THEN left you heartbroken. Your thinking is very distorted, I hope it's the depression doing that to you, so that it's treatable. Try to find some friends with some common sense who can help you sort things out.
> >
> > Learn to take care of yourself - learn to be alone too, it's nothing to be afraid of. If you're not happy alone, how can you be happy with someone else? That would only make an unhappy couple. When you feel better and find someone suitable, be with her. Neither of the relationships you mention in your posting have an interesting future. You're worth more than that, we all are. The kids you may have some day deserve more than that too.
> >
> >
> > > the illness is too strong (severe depression) and to top it off my perfect fiance chooses someone else over me. she was my life and meant everything to me. she made every promise i did. but i guess it didn't mean enough to her. she wont leave her husband because she says she is too weak to leave him and that he threatens suicide. now she is gone for 2 months and i dunno when she will talk to me again. she made my life perfect and now everything is horrible. the illness would be bearable enough if i was with her. i cant stress enough how perfect everything has always been with us. we had so much passion for eachother. we would talk on the net 6+ hours every day and never get enough of eachother. we had almost everything in common and everything was just perfect. it was impossible for us to even argue. and now she prefers to stay with someone else and is away not talking to me :***. there is still a chance she will be with me but i feel hopeless sometimes. she hurt me more than anyone ever could. she promised everything. i could never meet anyone like her ever again. everything was so loving and perfect. i could never connect with anyone as with her. everything was so perfect :****. she promised she would never leave me. how could she do such a horrible thing. i have almost died because of her. the mental illness is so strong and she makes it all the more unbearable with what she's done. and she doesn't even know this yet because she's been gone. i dunno when she will be back online. there is an old girl i am supossed to go live with in the future. the one i abandoned for this perfect dana. i would do anything for her. this old girl forgave me and says she wants a child with me. with my illness and general social anxiety it is so hard for me to meet girls. dana was one in a million. i am not like other people. and since the illness i am not as social as i was before. i cant imagine anyone wanting to be with me in my current state. i am a bumb unsuited for work. i dont know if my illness will ever be better. i doubt i could ever meet someone who i would deeply love and feel such a strong connection. me and this old girl are like strangers. we dont connect at all. but i guess i will be with her anyway. at least she loves me in her limited way. better than being completely alone. because that is how i am. I wish i had a new mommy figure :**. i dont have a real mommy. my so called real mommy is yucki in her child molesting ways. i wish dana was with me again :**. she was everything to me. everything possible. we were so open and honest. everything was perfect. she said she will always love me the most and always want to be with me, but that she just cant leave that other person even though she knows he is horrible. sometimes i feel so hopeless but maybe i will be okay. maybe everything will be better.
> > >
> > > if anyone wants to talk to me then plz e-mail me at adamie@herwire.com
poster:sid
thread:15972
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011216/msgs/16009.html