Posted by akc on December 1, 2001, at 8:28:20
In reply to PS akc, posted by Greg A. on December 1, 2001, at 2:08:01
I'm not sure what in my cocktail might not be for anxiety. Lithium, topamax, seroquel, effexor xr. Well, I know the effexor is not, because my pdoc is always worrying that it will speed me up too much. But my understanding of what she is after with this mix of mood stabilizers, and the seroquel to help with the distorted thinking, is to balance me since I do get such a mixed state of anxiety and depression. So, no, I am not on anything that directly addresses the anxiety, but I think she is trying to address it through the mix.
By the way, compared to the past, in most ways my anxiety is much, much better. I'm agitated right now. And I am having what I am terming "mini-panincs" -- just intense moments of anxiety, but not full-blown panics.
The wanting to cut, or take xanax or drink, is more than the anxiety. It is also to dissociate from all the feelings I am experiencing right now, I think. I'm in a lot of mental anguish -- it is causing more than just anxiety -- it is causing complete misery. The cutting is such a relief to all of that for me.
I have an assortment of therapists -- my individual therapists and then two for group therapy. My individual T was out last night when I made an emergency call, so I talked to one of my group T's. He had me write him an email on what I am feeling. What happened was interesting. I'm 36 -- and have been alone my entire life (raised in an alcoholic home -- I was alone there also). I think everyone believes that what is triggering this is my mom's terminal illness. Oh, it might be ultimately. But the immediate pain is caused by this horrendous loneliness. And the realization that it is not going to end any time soon, if ever. But maybe that is for another post.
Thanks for talking with me.
akc
poster:akc
thread:14631
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14668.html