Posted by tina on November 22, 2001, at 7:47:11
I remember that I was a happy child. Fearless-some say. However, I remember the summer that I turned 14. I spent three months on the couch in front of the tv eating ice cream.
I remember highschool. Grades 9 and 10 were dismal. I had two friends, not close. I was intelligent but 'moody.'
I switched to another HS for grade 11 and the one thing I remember most about that time is the feeling of joy doing battle with the feeling of fear. 16 years old. I became the popular, life of the party, gameshow host. I had tons of friends, bad grades(didn't care), smoked pot, drank and partied every night. But...I can strongly remember the battle that raged on inside. Fear vs. Joy.
That battle still rages on inside me. Every situation, every change, every day....Joy vs. Fear.
Fear is winning. Joy is fading. Is this the normal course of life? Is this "growing up?" Can the battle ever be won, will the battle ever end?
Is Joy weaker? Is Fear stronger?
What weapons have I?
a deep thinking tina
poster:tina
thread:14177
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14177.html