Posted by sar on October 11, 2001, at 15:32:36
In reply to Re: ..mental musing out loud » jay, posted by Wendy B. on October 11, 2001, at 15:19:22
yes...i finally had a moment like that this afternoon. i was sitting in the frontyard talking on the cordless phone to my suicidal friend C., who was calling from a payphone in a clinic. he hasn't had a drink for 7 days, hasn't had his AD in 3, and is frightened of the 6-month trial-period of whatver new drug it is they'll add to his mix.
we talking about death a lot. "Why are we here?" i asked. "what is life, what's the point?" "it's just a pointless phenomenon," C. said. i layed down in the grass and it sailed through me in this moment, all the green and blue and yellow of mellow october ants crawling over my barefeet and it struck me as *magical* how magical to be in these colors part of this phenomenon.
why give up on a scientific experiment when you're just doing it for fun?
i've been really down lately because i am jobless, homeless, possession-less, on probation, have bill collectors on my tail etc but last night m. was hugging me as we drank beers, j., this really pretty girl who onced kissed me, a "salt of the earth girl" drove me home in her big truck there's orange juice to drink and i'm part of this lovely phenomenon where theres lots of *kissing* and lovely craziness, and it's my favorite month, October.
poster:sar
thread:12372
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011006/msgs/12405.html