Posted by fluffykitty on September 19, 2001, at 17:23:14
In reply to Re: Think I fired my therapist - JennyR, posted by Cecilia on September 18, 2001, at 4:25:12
JennyR:
>and I really truly believe now that there is no
>point to anything. There is no safety, no
>security, not anywhere. No, I'm not suicidal. >But I'm finding everything so extraordinarily >difficult.I feel so bad for you. I think that the therapuetic relationship is like a mirror of ourselves in our relationships to other people. Its like a practice run where we can experiment and try things out and learn about ourselves. I also think of course the feelings are real and that what you are feeling is like the loss of a lover or a family member. Anyone can feel this way after a loss. I know I have. However in time it can heal. The thing is, even if the relationship is unresolved between the two people, in order to heal, you MUST resolve it within yourself and then let go. Pain and suffering are caused by desire for something that may not be attainable and the desire to hold onto that pain. Dont do it. Do not desire it and just let it go. Visualize yourself letting it go and seeing it go away over the horizen out of your life. I have had to do this in my life and I know its not easy but over time you can do it. If you just let it go you will be happier in the long run. Just see how things go over time.
Anyway as to the point of anything, I think we all grapple with these issues. The point of life and security and safety. I dont know if you are a spiritual person or not, but I have found that spirituality (of some kind, I prefer eastern) can help where drugs and therapy do not, and on the flipside, when spirituality fails, drugs and therapy can. I think they work together though. If you see no point to anything, try to think and understand that the point of life is simply to be alive, to feel and be as you are in life with everything that comes with it. Thats all. Its not about money or material things or human made ideas about what life should be. Life simply is. And on that level maybe it would to help to be able to find security and safety within yourself. That each of us has it within us to provide those things within our heart and spirit and not try to find it from some outside source. We cant be responsible or control what happens outside of ourselves, the only thing we can ever hope to control is ourselves. Understanding this and being able to do this is not easy; its hard work but the fruits of this labor are immense. I wish you the best of luck. :)
Cecilia:
>My therapy (7 years worth) ended 4 years ago and
>it still hurts constantly. I go back and forth,
>missing my ex-therapist so badly I could die,
>but at the same time furious at her for not
>being able to help me and for giving up wanting
>to, and even more furious at myself for not
>being helpable and for believing in the fantasy
>of help for so long.I think some of my advice above is applicable to you too here. Just let go of your prior therapist. All of it. All of this is very bad for people healthwise. It can weaken your immune system and shorten your life. I believe you are helpable. Everyone is. Otherwise you would not be here. I think if you have a fantasy about something, it is only after that fantasy is smashed and released, that the truth about something can be seen. Im not saying that the truth is you are not helpable. What Im saying is that whatever fantasy you claim to have held is getting in the way of allowing yourself to find some way or other methods of help. If one path does not work, seek others. And keep going. I think that the key to your help is within you, not out there. You just need to find the right path. I believe in you. I believe in all of you. :)
Anyway of course I dont know either of you and I would say my advice is worth about what you paid for it! ;-)
poster:fluffykitty
thread:9067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010915/msgs/11594.html