Posted by shelliR on September 19, 2001, at 13:55:17
In reply to Re: lighting a candle » Marie1, posted by Jane D on September 19, 2001, at 11:05:27
> Marie - That's not what she said. And, even if it were, this affects us all differently. The people who go in for very open mourning are merely the most visible. Lay off. Please.
> - JaneJane.
I don't think either Sar *or* Marie said anything wrong. If Sar is going to bring up such a controversial subject, it is to be expected that there *will* be controversial reactions. She actually asked for reactions and is exploring why she has had no feelings. I think Marie's reaction was absolutely appropriate. She wasn't saying that the most visible mourners are the "true" mourners, she was saying that the bombing in New York and Washington has strongly affected her and her community and also she has strong feelings about it being a national issue. And I felt that she was trying to understand Sar, by saying that perhaps it was the distance which made her feel nothing. I guess I thought your directive to her to "lay off" was hurtful. (even with the please.)
It is strange to be so offended by what you say, because I have grow used to always respecting and mostly agreeing with your opinions. You might have been trying to protect Sar, but Sar didn't ask to be protected. Saying "lay off" chilled me because it was a directive, and the only directives issued on this board should by Dr. Bob, and I have never seen his power used harshly.
Shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:11546
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010915/msgs/11583.html