Posted by akc on August 18, 2001, at 16:47:34
that if you open up to a group of people (who are there for support -- in this case a twelve step group), do they feel a need to tell you what meds they are on as if their meds would solve your problems?
I've been going to a new AA meeting, and have been sharing too much I think, because some folks have been being way too familiar with me. I think I know why I am disliking AA these days, but not alanon. In alanon, the first and most important lesson you learn is that you cannot fix or control other people. So when I share in alanon, I get a lot of support -- a lot of hugs, a lot of concern, a lot of kind words. AA people never seem to learn this (unless they do alanon also). But for the third straight week, some woman at this AA meeting (a different person each week), without really knowing my problem, other than I have a mental illness, told me her cocktail -- and today even said, you ought to try it. I always kindly say, I have a great pdoc who I really trust and thanks, but no thanks.
The bigger problem is that I need to keep my big mouth shut at this meeting. I was seeking support. I'm nervous about this surgery, and I spoke because of that. I had another woman state that she wouldn't let me get depressed -- in this real authoritative voice. I kindly pointed out to her that she couldn't control whether I got depressed or not, and that what I was really looking for from the group was people to hold my hand if another depression was triggered by the surgery.
I'm tired of ignorance.
I'm tired.
akc
poster:akc
thread:9808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010817/msgs/9808.html