Posted by caroline h. on July 25, 2001, at 19:02:53
judy-i just popped in today for first time since i posted 2 weeks ago, so just got your response. you must have a lot to talk about in therapy!!!!how does anyone have more than 20 traffic accidents?? this is not to criticize--i just wonder how you do it, and i guess it's careful architecture that you're not dead--with that and all the other stuff. but of course, few people understand my lack of tolerance for paperwork, my ability to make both a literal and figurative mess out of things, my professional self-destructiveness(fear and laziness) and my lack of social life.
there's hope for both of us. my shrink tells me about this patient he's had for 20 years whom he now only sees for maintenance visits. he first knew her when he was just starting out and she was an inpatient. she threw an ashtray on the floor and tried to cut herself, knowing he would try to get the glass out of her hand just so he would hold her. we agree that if she can make it, i may, too.
it's great you really trust your shrink. i trust mine, too, but it took a long time with desired separations on both sides. he is very, very straight and said i was the most personally provocative person he'd ever met. i've toned down a lot and have learned from his straightness. and he's learned to ignore my provocation, which used to drive him nuts. he's also more twisted than he lets on. once during one of our more trying times, he said his one confidence that the therapy would work was our bond. i didn't appreciate that then, but i now do. sometimes his faith in my ability to improve is the only reason i have faith.
anyway, it's fun to talk to you. i don't hang out here too much anymore cuz it gets me depressed. i just popped in to do some med research cuz i'm thinking of trying a med again. (I've been off all meds now for three months, and i'm leery of giving it another try--so's my shrink. for the most part, life without meds has been a lot better for me than life with meds, surprisingly.)
but feel free to email me any time if i don't show here.
and take care of yourself.
caroline h.
poster:caroline h.
thread:7930
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7930.html