Posted by sar on July 18, 2001, at 0:46:03
In reply to Impulse , posted by Willow on July 16, 2001, at 23:36:03
Dear Willow,
Thank you.
"Do you care enough about yourself not to really want to harm yourself.?"
No. That is the crux of depression. I fluctuate between insane nihilism and happy karmic buddhistic thoughts. I never quite know what to think..
I'm new to meds, and they seem to have helped.
I've tried controlling my impulses--the major one is drinking, and it usually takes about 30 minutes to pass. If I can wait that long, I'm okay. If not, I'm drunk all day. It's an edgy feeling, an argument w/ myself whether to pull into the convenience store or not and put down a few dollars for some beer.
In a week or so I'm supposed to get on depakote, which will supposedly even out my "impulses" and is also hell on the liver--a doublecrux if I continue drinking.
if depakote makes me feel reel good i doubt i'll drink the way i do. it'll be awhile, tho.
Thank you, Ms. Whistling Willow. I appreciate what you contribute to this board.
love,
sar
poster:sar
thread:7299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7584.html