Posted by mila on May 9, 2001, at 23:22:35
In reply to Re: mikes, posted by mikes on May 9, 2001, at 22:14:43
Hi, mikes,i understand you very well, every word rings so true.
when i saw a doc for depression, she said, 'there is little we can do', when i saw a psychiatric nurse for an interview, she said, 'help is almost unavailable', when i saw a psychiatrist, she said, 'psychopharmacology is art, not science'. get out of here!, i thought...This was probably the most depressing part of my depressive illness.
i stayed on SSRI's for several months mostly because i believed they were helping, me, although you would never guessed it if you saw me on them. The side effects were bad, and they definitely brought my IQ somewhere way below the average; horrendously slowed down mental processing and recall. This made my university studies next to impossible. I was dropping courses like an autumn apple tree drops its apples.
I was lucky to discover in the end that the meds were working silently on the background and i am feeling very well now. never tried drugs, mostly because I am scared shitless after witnessing my father's early demise from alcoholism.
SJW I tried, but it was no good for depression ( I gave it a 3 months try), although nice for anxiety.
Now I am feeling great. Healthy. 'Undepressed' as you say. I wonder whether it is a full cure, or remission, but then does it really matter? what matters is that NOW i feel great, and my intellect is back along with nice emotional functioning. I just finished my school year at university with 96% average, and cannot tell you how happy I am, given my life-long hatred of learning, and aversion to memorization and discipline, it is something to celebrate :) now, because I have dropped so many courses during first term because of SSRIs, I hae to go to summer university, to make up for what I need as prerequisites for next year. It will be very tough, especially given the fact that all the courses to take are simply HIDEOUS. I keep my fingers crossed and i hope i will make it.
good luck on your quest, mikes. depression is the nastiest disease of all I ever had. so deceitful, so hard to get it by the throat, and when you did, to squeeze the last breath out of it. Persevere.
love
mila
poster:mila
thread:5852
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010417/msgs/5926.html