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Re: Forgive, O Lord » NikkiT2

Posted by Doo on May 8, 2001, at 13:03:12

In reply to Re: Forgive, O Lord » Doo, posted by NikkiT2 on May 8, 2001, at 9:23:21

Hello NikkiT2, thank's for your post.

> Isn't it strange what our brain turns up.. I was trying to explain to a psychologist this morning about how I feel with regards to life / death. Death seems a much better option, and suicide is on my mind most of the time..

Quite a burden, isn't it?

>But not in a black "Right, I want to kill myself kind of way.. more a "I can't be bothered to live much longer" kind of way.

I know what you mean, I've those feelings for years...

> I've also been finding a hole in me that I guess most people fill with their "religious" beliefs. Dunno how to fill this, but have a feeling maybe things will be better once I do. I want someone to give me proof, to show me exactly what to believe in.. I want God to shpow himself and say "see, I am real, you can believe in me"...

I prayed a lot, and never felt any answer that way. Many poeple do find something there, though, and I respect very much that path. I still have moments when I pray and sometimes, I feel some kind of warmth and secure feelings. But I don't have any more hope of having a sudden revelation. As for the beliefs, sometimes I think to myself "okay, there is nothing and I must face it", sometimes I'm less radical and think "there are probably many things that I don't know and there might be some 'good angels' somewhere". The last week, I was more in the first situation...

> I hope things are getting better...

Yes, a bit better, thank's a lot. I appreciate your posting very much.

Doo


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