Posted by Crinklebender on December 10, 2000, at 8:03:55
In reply to Re: I hope you don't trip... Crinklebender, posted by caroline h. on December 9, 2000, at 22:10:45
MMmhnn I had;nt thought about it that way. Self absorbtion now that complicates everything, my self absorbtion being the result of reality screening which has always been inherently written in me. I'm honest about how crazy I am so the relationships I enter into are very often with people fascinated by my creative state of existing. But what I'm trying to create is a way free from my own Psychotic process. When I see a way free it very often is not conveniant for somebody who likes the crazy way I was. I have to break free. Then stand still as long as possible in the extra clarity and see who is able to catch up. The creative process seems such a great thing because people say how the hell did he get free from that to this ? If I tried to explain that I could do it and that I was heading on out, and that I did'nt realize I was trapped till I saw how free others were then doubt is all I get. Since my process is a mystery to me then I can't explain how I'm going to do it. States happen, and next thing I'm out and nobody from the past can reach me or fathomn what I am up to till later. Psychotic but creative and inherent to my process my whole life from very small.
I do trip very often, in perception But it does feel like love. Feels like I've taken an Ectasy and its directed at a particular human. Whether its real or not only time will tell. But then again how much anybody can really know anybody else will become pretty obvious through lows and highs together.
What can one do when a rise lifts you up and you get carried away. Experience only tells me where I have been and gives me a clue how to infer in another context.
Very often when I think of psychobabble I am reminded how abstract these behavioural observations are. They exist as tools for us to use in a whole variety of ways. Probably my true self is set. So if I can recognise that, I can recognise its true in another and so the love is realistic because it needs that person to be as they are at another point in time.
Christ where did all that stuff come from. I sound like a new age LA actor.
Crinkleminder
> i hope you don't trip on your way up the ladder of these dynamic growth spurts. you might fall on those you want so much to leave behind. what you're doing doesn't sound like spreading love around. you haven't really explained your situation, but it sounds more like motion for motion's sake --without any progress. so i'm highly suspect of these dynamic growth spurts. cuz when you grow there doesn't have to be a need to leave others behind - unless your relationships are based upon your own self-absorption. only you can slow down - and that sounds like a very good idea. but what do i know? i could be totally wrong.
poster:Crinklebender
thread:3435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001117/msgs/3578.html