Posted by Noa on December 8, 2000, at 10:49:05
In reply to Re: what happens when the boss knows about you!!!!!!!!, posted by Christina on December 8, 2000, at 0:40:45
It is so hard to know whether to tell or not to tell.
In many ways, I am glad I told my boss and closest coworkers last year, becuase my performance during that first year on the job was not very good, and that is all they know of how I work. Now that I am functioning more normally, I sometimes wonder how I got through the year last year! I think if I hadn't told them, and they thought that was my normal level of functioning, why would they want to keep me aorund? As it is, I still feel somewhat like I have to work hard at restoring how I am seen as a worker.
On the other hand, it is always a risk when you divulge such information. For example, I recently had a conflict with a close co-worker, whom I like. She had voiced, very loudly and publicly, her opinion about the time of a meeting I had set up, a meeting that did not involve her at all. She was rather aggressive about expressing this opinion, and did so in front of one of the people whom I had requested to attend this meeting. It hadn't been her place to do so, because it didn't involve her and also she had no idea how much effort went into finding a time when all parties could meet. And, the manner of her objection was also inappropriate. I had expected to confront her about this privately but a few days went by and I decided it wasn't a high priority. However, a few days later, we were eating lunch in her office together and she brought up the meeting, jokingly asking if I had gotten complaints about the time of the meeting. Since she brought it up, I decided to confront her. Well, she got kind of defensive, although in a very civil way (we usually work together very well). But, (and this is the point of telling this story here), she also dealt a low blow by saying, "well, you wouldn't have been able to make it to a meeting at that time last year". I felt that she said this just to attack, because she felt attacked by me confronting her on inappropriately butting into the meeting thing. I was really disappointed in her for saying that. She had been one of my main supports last year, and I disclosed a lot to her.
I don't think she will use the info in any worse way than that, but still, it is a reminder of how you have to be cautious when disclosing information to people.
BTW, she left the next day for a vacation, and I imagine that when she returns, we can work normally together. I have had fleeting thoughts of saying something about her comment, but I think I feel like leaving it alone, unless she makes any more like that.
poster:Noa
thread:3431
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001117/msgs/3539.html