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Re: Well at least you're not locked in

Posted by S. Howard on November 28, 2000, at 22:26:36

In reply to Re: Well at least you're not locked in, posted by Noa on November 28, 2000, at 8:34:19


Noa,
Well, here is another embarrassing part of the story. I'm not proud of this but, on the other hand, it's a relief to talk about it...I would never tell my family or friends ANY of these things. Also, I might prevent someone from doing the same, and that would make it worthwhile to me.

I was not happy about being locked in and I called my son to demand that he return my keys.
He did this, but before he left, he sat down with me and said, "Mom, the night that you had a seizure, your head was against the wall at such a sharp angle that you weren't breathing, you weren't getting any air. And Dad wasn't home, and if I hadn't been there and I didn't hear you fall...you were out for such a long time, I'm afraid you would have died. I don't know how long you can go without air before there's brain damage."

I said, "I think it's about four minutes." I was shocked, I hadn't heard any of this before.
He just said, "You were out longer than that."
Which was true. I didn't wake up until the paramedics had an oxygen mask on my face.

OhmyGod! I love that kid more than life. Despite working full-time and not being particularly sociable, I was an avid soccer/baseball/hockey/
boy-scout mom. Part of my depression had to do with the fact that he was a grown man and it was time for me to let him go, but my OD was NOT a bid for his attention. I was horrified that I had put him through that. Not to mention my poor husband, who works with the same fire department as the EMTs who came to our house. The whole thing was mortifying all around.

At this point I am determined to redeem myself, and I am willing to try anything. I wondered what you meant about a "day program", because structure and support seems to be what I need right now.

Thanks for your encouragement,
Gracie


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poster:S. Howard thread:3273
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