Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 14:14:37
In reply to Re: To Greg, posted by S. Howard on November 9, 2000, at 12:05:28
In case you didn't see my earlier post I reposted it-note especially " minimizing things that are important to another"
If you don't agree with me, I respect that. Greg apologized. I accepted. Why isn't this over? Is there some reason to make fun of me? I don't want a hug just to be respected.
> This is a good link. Although it is specifically written for emotional/verbal abuse of a partner I think it could be generalized to any human relationship.
> http://www.cawc.org/a_verbal.html
>
> I am copying part of it below. I wouldn't have had the courage to object if alice hadn't spoken up. But it did indeed make me feel many of the feelings described. (But feeling like I should be a "good sport" and not object.) And having it minimized or told that I "shouldn't" object didn't help. I'm not crazy or irrational or unreasonable.
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> VERBAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE
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> Some definitions: Verbal assaults, manipulative and or controlling behaviors toward a partner which cause that person to feel afraid, confused, overwhelmed, threatened, powerless, crazy, inadequate, frustrated, or rejected.
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> The purpose of the verbal assaults and manipulations is to gain and maintain power over the partner. Forms of verbal and emotional abuse include, but are not limited to:
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>
> • name-calling
> • making jokes at other's expense X
> • yelling
> • accusing
> • blaming
> • criticizing
> • threatening
> • refusing to talk
> • making degrading remarks X
> • arguing
> • put-downs X
> • judging X
> • demanding
> • ordering a person to do something
> • minimizing things that are important to the other X
> • denying previous abusive words and behaviors X
>
> I Xed some of the more applicable.
> > > how offensive this is to intelligent, thinking women. (NOT LADIES)
> >
> > I agree. It is very offensive. I hope you reconsider posting this sort of "humor". I don't think I can change your mind but could you just respect those of us who are offended by not posting it? Perhaps you could use private e-mail for this sort of thing?
> **************************************************
> Sounds like somebody needs a hug!!
poster:Hannah
thread:1864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2394.html