Posted by CarolAnn on November 2, 2000, at 9:11:23
In reply to Re: Our Significant Others, posted by coral on November 1, 2000, at 7:56:48
Hi Coral,
I think I sort of over-stated the situation when I wrote that I "told my husband" the suicide comment. I didn't mean that as dramatically as it sounded. More along the lines of saying things like, "what would I do without you?" and "I'm so lucky to have you for a husband". There have been times when he was worried that I might actually kill myself, but he knows enough about depression to know that it has nothing to do with him personally or with his attributes as a husband. Luckily, I haven't been that low for a long time now, and he mostly just has to come home to a messy house. Do you have days where you just literally CANNOT get off the couch or out of bed? It sounds so ridiculous, and yet it happens. I do make every effort to banish guilt. I know it only makes things worse. I know objectively that I am doing the very best I can with what God gave me, and I also know that aside from my depression, I am a very good wife and mother. After six yrs of marriage, my husband still loves me deeply, and my daughter is a happy, well-behaved, sweet natured, two yr old. I guess I haven't done so badly...
Lately, my problem has been more anxiety than depression and I realized that I have always had an incredible 'fear' of the future, but I'm not afraid for myself, I'm afraid for the people I love, especially my daughter. I've never had the ability to "live in the present", I was always busy rewriting the past or imagining the future. It's hard to enjoy the present when that unexplanable feeling of dread washes over you. Do you have anything like this going on?
Be well! CarolAnn
poster:CarolAnn
thread:1864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/1977.html