Posted by shar on October 31, 2000, at 16:31:58
In reply to to Ted, posted by judy1 on October 31, 2000, at 14:42:50
I can't remember where I read this, but it was about people who are really anxious/panicky sort of going into a "different world" as sort of a safety mechanism. The idea being, I believe, that there is something too threatening in the present environment to deal with (as Ted said, a trigger). Rage as a reaction to something that happened before you had control over your life, could be very terrifying and threatening, and I think could cause you to want to "get away" from it.
Anytime you are not here and now, it's possible to experience anything from forgetfulness, ending up somewhere in the house and wondering why you went there, or ending up at work and remembering nothing about the drive (I've done these things and the last is really scary, like "were all the lights I went thru green?"). In your case, I think you are distancing yourself more than the cases I mentioned, if you "wake up" to find you've been cutting.
Another instance, and it may not apply at all to you, is a form of seizure where you sort of trance out, but I doubt that would have cutting associated with it. If you are taking meds that lower seizure thresholds it might be worth looking at.
Finally, I think Ted's idea of a safe place for you is an excellent one. Until you are more here and now, locking up your razors, knives, scissors, etc. is a very good idea.
My counselor told me for my own dissociative tendencies (pretty minor ones) that physically paying attention to my body would help. Such as, saying my feet are on the ground and looking at them, my hands are in my pockets, I am in my living room, etc. Touching the chair "this is my dining room chair" being really physical.
She also said walking while paying attention to your feet hitting the ground and what your surroundings look like will help keep one "earth bound."
Good luck, and I hope that your tendencies to cut will lessen, as you feel stronger and more "in control" or present.
Shar
>
> Thank you very much for answering so quickly. I have been dxed with bipolar and panic disorders. I guess I thought that people with borderline personality cut because of rage, at least that is what I had read. I am not conscious of cutting, I had a psychologist who said that I did dissociate a lot so maybe that is part of it. I think that was a really good suggestion to get rid of razors in the house, that is what I am using. Thanks again.
poster:shar
thread:1887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/1896.html