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Re: Ideal Fit

Posted by baseball55 on September 23, 2013, at 19:54:57

In reply to Re: Ideal Fit » pegasus, posted by Dinah on September 23, 2013, at 19:01:14

Thinking back on it all, I would say that the most important thing in a therapist-client relationship is trust and that that is the basis of a good fit. You have to trust that s/he will listen carefully and want to be empathic and helpful rather than judgmental and dismissive. You have to trust that you can be honest (or as honest as you are capable of understanding yourself at the time) and they will listen empathically and without negative judgment. Or for that matter, without excessive sympathy or advice or trying to fix everything and make you feel good.

Studies show over and over again that the most important benefit of therapy is the relationship between the therapist and client. It barely matters what kind of therapy they do -- dynamic, CBT, DBT, Whatever. If there's a poor relationship, the therapy won't work. But nobody can say what a good relationship consists of because everyone is different and responds differently in such an intimate setting.

I have been lucky in finding two therapists (dynamic and DBT) for whom I have high regard and whom I trust completely. I don't know if it's me or them or the combination that has made the fit good.

When I first tried to get help, I went to a social worker whom I hated. I had no confidence whatsoever in her. I stopped after a few weeks.


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