Re: I try to never do this, but.... » 10derheart

Posted by Daisym on December 21, 2010, at 0:41:41

In reply to I try to never do this, but...., posted by 10derheart on December 19, 2010, at 21:52:28

((((Tender))))
I am so sorry for your pain and I truly do understand both the empty feelings as well as the intense loneliness that comes with all of this. When you get divorced or lose a loved one, you usually have some social support or can grieve more openly. This is such private pain - like you said, no one really understands the depth of the connection unless you've been there. I'm glad you reached out here.

I'm struggling myself right now with a very big rupture and I too have not really wanted to write about it. It is complicated but a lot of my hesitation to find support around this has to do with my therapy being really deep (though not trouble free, of course) for so long - and my therapist being so good, that I'm mortified and devasted that this happened. I can't believe that "I've" screwed this up.
I didn't mean to make this about me - I am just trying to let you know you aren't alone. And I really like what Dinah said - we can't control anyone but ourselves, as frustrating as that is. And like all relatioships, change happens. And therapists are human, as much as we wish they weren't, and therefore influenced by the world's ill winds. If I had to guess, I'd say he is struggling with his own feelings about the unusual boundaries of this relationship and perhaps the energy it takes to maintain it. We rarely cut things off with someone to hurt them but rather, we usually do it to protect ourselves or when we can't face the hurt we know we are causing. It is a sign of too much caring, not none at all.
Keep writing. I hope it helps

Thread

I try to never do this, but.... 10derheart 12/19/10
...
Re: (((((10derheart))))) » annierose 10derheart 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » Abby Cunningham 10derheart 12/20/10
Love you, too ((muffy)) my friend...TY (nm) » muffled 10derheart 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » mystickangaroo 10derheart 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » jane d 10derheart 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... Helana 12/20/10
((( 10derheart ))) Dinah 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... 10derheart 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » Helana 10derheart 12/20/10
((((10derheart)))) » 10derheart gardenergirl 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » 10derheart obsidian 12/20/10
((((10derHeart)))) » 10derheart PartlyCloudy 12/20/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » 10derheart Daisym 12/21/10
Re: ((((10derheart)))) » gardenergirl 10derheart 12/21/10
thank you, sid, one hug=good; lots of hugs=wow! (nm) » obsidian 10derheart 12/21/10
Re: ((((10derHeart)))) » PartlyCloudy 10derheart 12/21/10
Re: ((((10derHeart)))) 10derheart 12/21/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » 10derheart jane d 12/21/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » 10derheart twinleaf 12/21/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » Daisym twinleaf 12/21/10
Re: ((((10derheart)))) annierose 12/21/10
Re: ((((10derheart)))) » annierose 10derheart 12/21/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » twinleaf Daisym 12/21/10
Re: I try to never do this, but.... » Daisym twinleaf 12/21/10
Re: ((((10derheart)))) annierose 12/21/10
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Re: ((((((10derheart)))))))))---[long] » 10derheart Daisym 1/17/11

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