Posted by Annabelle Smith on November 17, 2010, at 18:57:18
In reply to Re: an eternity, posted by annierose on November 17, 2010, at 7:43:31
Annierose, I know that this has been confusing and complicated. No, this is not the therapist with whom I recently terminated. This is the therapist with whom I had to stop working last May because of practical limitations (i.e. I left my university for the summer and he left the university psych and counseling center where he had been working to go for full time work in his private practice). I just re-initiated therapy with him at his private practice.
Solstice, as always, thanks for your words. I hope you are right, but I never know how things are going to go in a session. All I know is that right now, it seems like it will never get here. My mind is filled with things to say, and I know I can't get them all out in one session.
There is something else-- when I entered therapy last February, I really needed to be there; however, there was a very specific way in which I feel as though I got worse-- much worse. I think that my getting worse had to do with the idealization invovled in the therapeutic relationship-- the deepest depression I have ever felt, suicidal feelings that though I had experienced them before, were now constantly present, and a feeling of totally helplessness and dependency. I really want someone to tell me that this also is normal in therapy-- that is, getting worse before getting better. I was afraid to bring it up with my therapist because I was afraid his response would be that we needed to terminate-- but at that point, for me, it was too late. To leave him would feel like a death that I couldn't survive. You say that this intense over-idealization is to be expected by therapists and is common, but I am not sure. I don't think that every person who enters therapy acts and behaves this way. Also, I really don't know if my therapist expects this or not-- I have no idea what he really thinks or knows.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:970565
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/970635.html