Posted by Daisym on November 10, 2010, at 22:31:37
In reply to Re: Loneliness, posted by Dinah on November 10, 2010, at 18:34:34
I finally told him some of my upset today. He always owns his part when we have these kinds of ruptures but since this is a core issue for me, it is hard to get past. He said I'm being really hard on myself. And as the discussion evolved, we realized together that we've been staying away from the "hate" land-mine. The wordlessness and lonely feelings stem from this episode - or at least it triggered some very painful realizations. He said he was sorry he hadn't pushed into this more but I had such an extreme reaction that he had (more or less unconsciously) let me get further and further away from it and him. And very (very, very) carefully, he opened it up again.
To be alone, but safe and at peace, is great. To be alone, and scared and feeling like the unknown is filled with trouble and bad surprises, not so good. I think it is a very powerful feeling state which is hard to understand from the outside in.
poster:Daisym
thread:969443
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/969737.html