Posted by southernsky on December 12, 2009, at 18:38:35
I've recently developed attachment feelings for my T of several months, which led to insight A, which led to insights B, C, D...The insights were about my primary core issue, which come from my parents neglect and them never making me feel safe or loved...which led to insights E, F, G....which led to a mega-insight, a huge realization about myself--the source behind anything and everything in how I have been (mostly unconciously) treating myself and relating to others all these years.
The realization was so ugly, the emotions so painful....that after this discovery and after feeling agonizing emotional pain for 2 hours, I suddenly stopped feeling it and developed sexual compulsions (not for T) and called an old boyfriend to satisfy my urges. I didn't see him in person, but our correspondence lasted for 6 hours. He seemed thrilled, but I feel awful now.
I don't ever remember using sex as a defense against anything, and this was so strange and disturbing, that even though I am afraid to post on this forum, I have to ask someone what this means. I don't see T until next week and feel so disturbed by this, I'd really appreciate anyone's advice, if anyone knows what this means, or if something similar ever happened to you before. I mean why would I use sex to block out painful emotions? It was so sudden and odd.
Bunches of thanks :)
poster:southernsky
thread:929034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929034.html