Posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2009, at 21:28:51
In reply to the ongoing saga, posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 13:58:38
he freaks me out sometimes. its like he wants to feel my pain. merge with it or something. and it feels invasive. and icky. and i don't like to show it to him. it feels inappropriate. obscene. i think the idea is that if i can feel him with me with my pain then it won't feel so overwhelming and unmanageable anymore. or at least when i feel it i'll be able to feel him with me so i won't feel alone with it. even when he isn't there. but that feels... disrespectful of the pain. to respect it is to feel it alone. because thats what it is. isolation. he can't be there with me cause thats the way it is. i can't let it go. it would be to disrespect it. i can't let him in. but he keeps pushing. keeps pushing. ick.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:892154
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/892437.html