Posted by antigua3 on September 23, 2008, at 6:55:02
In reply to I love my T, but is she triggering my sadness?, posted by LittleGirlLost on September 19, 2008, at 20:03:05
I hesitate to write this because I don't want to give the wrong impression.
But... when I went into therapy 18, yes 18, years ago, I went into w/father issues. I didn't even know that I had mother issues.
Over the years, my T has become my good mother. She has taught me how a mother is supposed to behave and has given me what I didn't even know I missed. I know that early on I had that intense longing you're feeling right now, but we just keep working on it. She met my needs and taught me how to meet my needs that were outside of what she could provide. She was appropriately indignant or angry when she (we) felt that I had been treated badly at times, and she has stood up for me when I've needed her to. She helped me raise my children, too, because I guess I just didn't know how a good mother should be.
But along the way, something has happened. I've learned to do this for myself, to mother myself when I need it. We all need it. She showed me the way, and it was a long, hard road, but I feel much better about myself now.
Now I see her as a person, foibles and all, but I know how to talk to my own mother now, and not ache for something I can't have anymore.
What I'm saying is that it gets better. It really does, or at least in my experience. You are in the really hard part now, but hang in there, maybe get some meds to help you through, but you are doing really good work. As you trust her more, you will open up, about your siblings, and hopefully about the feelings she brings up in you. Yes, it's very painful, but I promise you, it's worth the effort.
take care,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:853006
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/853586.html