Posted by Nadezda on September 20, 2008, at 11:45:07
In reply to Re: I love my T, but is she triggering my sadness? » DAisym, posted by LittleGirlLost on September 19, 2008, at 23:33:14
Hi. I think it might be worth getting some meds.
There's so much to talk about in your post, but the main thing is that your mood is darkening and everything that you think about is submerged in that darkness--. Maybe, if your mood lightened, you'd be able to talk about things that you keep hidden-- your brother and sister and the extra pressure that your mother puts onto you, in response to their gayness-- and plan forward toward those things you really want-- and take steps toward them.
I know for myself, when I"m depressed, everything turns black and hopeless-- I reproach myself for not doing things, and doing other things the wrong way--for the feelings I have, and the ones I don't have. I lose interest in going places, and doing things that I value. So maybe that's what's happening.
Since you're feeling the losses and what you miss in life so much more intensely and unavoidably, and with the sense that you'll never get what you most want, this seems pervasive, rather than just sadness. It's hard to go through life in that state-- because all the neediness and sadness do take over.
I do think going to a pdoc and checking out if there are any ADs that would be good for you is the most positive thing you can do right now.
I'm really sorry you're going through such a hard time.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:853006
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/853091.html