Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 20, 2008, at 7:19:09
In reply to jumping into the deep end. sundress » llurpsienoodle, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 19, 2008, at 9:57:21
It sure feels like it. And yet I persevere. I woke up at 6 am and sewed a batik skirt. A-line, with flat felled seams. I'm very proud of the seams, which gives me more courage to wear the skirt.
In chat last night I was reminiscing about my short and colorful time dating before I got married. I realized that I truly had some freaky dates and that any real chance of a relationship I had was compromised by my protective armor of thorns "don't get too close, because I WILL hurt you".
Talk about compartmentalizing my sexuality. Geez. I had a sleepover buddy in college. hetero man. It never once occurred to me to take advantage of the situation. I remained untethered.
In college I used to dress wearing much more revealing clothing. I was also obsessed with exercise and diet and such. There was always this horrible thing going on inside though. I would get close to being at my goal weight, and I would freak out and binge, because I felt almost naked walking around without my protective blubber. Around the same time I would switch abruptly from sundresses to bathrobes. or something like that.
Well, I ramble.
The real reason for my post is this:
I usually like to update T on my progress or lack of progress at the beginning of the session. How the hell do I report progress to T about this stuff, without seeming like I'm flirting with him. Hey, T-- look at me, I feel sexy, and I'm showing off my legs to prove it. WTF? is he supposed to be happy for me or something. What if he chooses to comment on the hypothetical outfit. I would be mortified.
I suppose the only way to work through the mortification is by talking about it. dammit.
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:839877
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080709/msgs/840984.html