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see T. tomorrow finally after 26 days...anxious

Posted by 10derHeart on January 16, 2008, at 1:43:18

In reply to tomorrow I will write about this-thx 4 asking :-) (nm) » muffled, posted by 10derHeart on January 9, 2008, at 0:02:41

But glad, too. So many mixed up feelings after he promised me a session for several weeks on a particular. day, then remembered <24 hours prior he'd messed up the date and wasn't working that day either. Then emailed, "oops, sorry I was unclear." Thus, a 26-day zero therapy stretch :-( It's been....weird. Sad, long, strange...I dunno.

I sent him an email telling him some of my conflicting emotions. I feel kinda bad 'cause in one part I wrote I might want to curse him and even throw a pillow at him ( Poet - thinking of you and T.) and in his reply he said, "you can curse me, but please don't throw anything at me." Have I finally made him scared of me? I hope not. I thought pillows were safe and non-threatening. I hope he doesn't feel threatened - I'd never harm him.

Oh well, the rest of his reply was nice - the usual him. I really like that he said he'll be the same, but different, too, because he knows something has just happened that was huge for me and he wouldn't want to act like everything was "fine' as that's not honest, or something like that. When he writes like that, I know he gets me.

Anyway, I'll try to post and say how it went.

And respond to all your great posts from before. I've been so overly tired and working too many hours and first sleeping too much, then staying up all night, overeating, not eating, up, down.....so scattered I completely forget I'd even written this thread.

Probably all stress - maybe it will be *much* better after tomorrow.

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:10derHeart thread:805122
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/806864.html